Tony Weston - campaigner for a vegan Mars Bar, provider (for many years at Tigh na Mara guesthouse before the money ran out) of the fully cooked vegan breakfast, researcher of how to make a vegan black pudding; and

Jonathan Cainer, author of "The Junk Food Vegetarian" (now alas out of print).

The FLV principles:

* fat is fun *

* fibre? fibre bollocks! *

* sugar - better for you than fags *

* life is short and I am knackered *

The Four Food Groups

Garlic

Chocolate

Toast

Gin

• dump in colander
• wash sauce off
• bung oil in roasting dish
• add washed potatoes
• stick in oven 180° - ish until done (half an hour?)

• 1 bag tortilla chips (plain)
• 1 jar salsa (hot)
• 1 pot guacamole ("American style" i.e. none of that cream or guar gum crap)
• Bib or kitchen roll (if wearing "work clothes")

Healthy options: Add:

• 1 carton OJ
• 1 bag salad

• 1 tin "value" new potatoes
• curry powder or curry paste
• 1 onion
• 1 tin chick peas
• rice

Half fill small pan with water. Put on stove to boil. Chop onion. Stick rice in (now boiling) water. Fry onion. Add curry powder/paste. Add (drained) pots from tin with small amount water. Add chick peas (drained). Stir until rice done. Eat.

Option:

• Use frozen peas instead of chick peas. Turn heat off under curry after it comes to the boil after adding the frozen peas.